Moving through self-doubt, perfectionism, and the fear of being seen.
For most of this year, I toyed with the idea of publishing on Substack.
The thought would float through my mind in odd moments — during a windy walk, when soaking in the bath. And even once, while in midst of food shopping.
Why? I craved the opportunity to share my voice, and my work, somewhere that didn’t foster the endless social media scroll.
I already had a daily writing habit. (I write and create myself daily each morning.) But each time the thought appeared, I hesitated.
Two weeks ago, a good friend gave me a bit of a shove. “You need to host a podcast,” she said. “Your voice is powerful and healing. Your work is unique. Stop dithering!”
With this, I committed: I would be on Substack. And, I would publish at least once weekly.
For a few moments, I felt the thrill of my decision. I was stepping into new territory!
A new way of being. This was going to be fun!
But then, it began. My very own inner revolution, rising to the hectic beat of a very foreboding drum.
First came the Need for More Information.
After all, how does Substack authorship work? What’s the best time to post? Are there things I should be doing besides curating thoughts and ideas for you?? Should I illustrate my posts? Or provide video? Or…Or…??? Should I offer content for free? Or offer a subscription? How do you do this? And what would I put where?
Then Self Doubt tiptoed in.
What if life gets busy, as it often does? Especially this time of year? What if I start and can’t maintain this commitment because I don’t have time? What if I can’t do this AND take care of all the other Important Things in my life. Like, getting my taxes done. (My taxes are already complete, in case you’re wondering.) Won’t I look foolish?
Stomping behind, taller and bigger than everyone else, was Fear.
Fear strode into my brain space and snorted mockingly, Ha! Who are you to provide meaningful content for anyone, week after week? You’re not a Published Author. Your writing process is often clunky at the best of times. Creating a good newsletter is a slow process. It takes time and skill and wisdom. Everyone says this is hard. And it takes a long time to build a community of subscribers. You’re just wasting your energy and effort for nothing. Besides, you’re not good enough anyway.
Suddenly, my very exciting, sparkly, new intention was starting to look a little bit jaded and faded.
My glorious commitment no longer felt glorious in the face of Not Enough Information, Doubt and Fear.
It was only 10am. I had the sudden urge to make myself a hot chocolate. It seemed a much better idea to curl up on the sofa under a blanket with my mug and a good film while ignoring the world for a while.
After all, no one knows I committed to launching something new.
And then, The Most Dangerous Thought of All:
There’s no need to tell anyone. Nobody knows but me. It’ll be alright.
And right there, what started as a cascade of limiting beliefs became an eroding tidal wave. My stress-based hormone rush attacked my self confidence, making it even less likely that I would ever step onto Substack, much less author my first book in 2026.
All of this because my unconscious brain told me that writing on Substack MIGHT not be safe. Promising you that I would show up regularly DEFINITELY wouldn’t be safe.
These risky thoughts birthed the entire family of Core Limiting Beliefs. I’m not safe, There’s Not Enough and I’m Not Good Enough were gathered at my dining table waiting for me to serve the hot chocolate.
These demons dissolved my brilliant commitment to move my energy and my voice to a platform that is less invasive and more supportive for you, Dear Reader.
I began with the intention of offering something that is of MORE value. And I’ve ended up on my knees in a cold, mud puddle, feeling deflated and useless.
And so it always goes.
The perfect recipe for procrastination and avoidance:
One inspirational thought.
A little dash of daring to be new.
A sudden landing in limitation and fear.
The over-riding desire to retreat into lethargy and fatigue.
And a whirlpool of: It’s all too much. I don’t have time. More study is needed. More something needed. Because, let’s face it, I’m not good enough.
Except. NONE OF THIS WAS TRUE.
It was just my unconscious brain keeping me safe. My nervous system, deep in stress, spawning old thoughts and emotions that perpetually make me move in limited ways.
I know you’ve experienced this too.
Maybe you also want to get your voice out into the world in a new way.
Or maybe you want to improve your health, diet or fitness.
Or maybe you want to grow your business, or speak on stages.
Or start a relationship, or move house.
Whatever your dream is.
If it’s outside the realm of where you are today, you can be sure your very own family of Limiting Beliefs will be waiting eagerly in the wings.
What’s to be done?
I know that neither Netflix, nor endless information seeking, will support me with my sparkly intention and commitment.
It’s tempting to think that it’s possible to think my way through the stuckness. Or to action my way through (Just do it doesn’t really do it!)
Pushing through the fear doesn’t work. Not long term.
The only effective way to create permanent transformation is more foundational than that.
It requires deep nervous system healing married with identity and mindset work.
I work with my brain and body to support my nervous system. I heal my historical stress patterns and learn how to meet day to day stress events without getting stuck.
Then I claim the identity that I need in order to be who I am becoming.
My body is the fastest, least-defended way into my unconscious and nervous system work. (This is part of the work that I share with my community.)
So, I build a lifestyle and a daily practice that supports my nervous system regulation and capacity to hold things that feel just a little bit scary. (Like stepping into something new.)
Only from this regulated place can I claim the identity of being a brilliant and compelling author with a vibrant and valuable Substack community.
(And no, contrary to popular belief, lying to yourself with affirmations won’t cut it either. It will only irritate your nervous system and create more issues in the future.)
From the outside, the moves I make have nothing to do with authoring a newsletter for Substack. Feeling my feet on the Earth or sensing my ribcage look completely unrelated to writing.
But from the inside they have everything to do with writing. Because this makes it safer for me to write. And to hit that publish button.
Which is exactly what I did.
This is Moving Well.
I’m off to do my sensing practice again.
See you in a few days for the next post.